You’ve been blogging for two days and have twelve people “following” you. All of a sudden, you start to feel important. Your ego shifts into overdrive. Dreams of writing awards and a movie based upon your life flood your every waking moment. And then it hits you: the downside.
I have already discovered that there is a downside.
The first thing that happens is – when you share your good news with your “blogger friends” – they become jealous. Why should you have all this success when they have been blogging for two years and have only fifty followers? Your success is a threat to them, and they plot their revenge.
The next thing that happens is you start thinking like a blogger. You start to wonder about everything you do or say or see in the course of a day – you wonder if it will make a good blog entry. Your life is no longer your own.
Then, since you are in perpetual “blog-seek mode,” people start avoiding you because they do not want to appear in your blog. Your wife says “Don’t you dare take a picture of me,” and your mother says “If you write about me, don’t make me look stupid.” Your kids don’t say a word, because they have already written about you in their own blogs.
* “How do they make toothpicks?”
* “Why are bananas yellow?
* “How come oranges don’t have a name, just a color? We don’t call blueberries ‘blues’ or strawberries ‘reds’?”
You are doomed. You are sinking in the quicksand of the blogosphere and there is no way out. And then you realize that you have just discovered the subject of you next blog. You smile the blogger’s smile.
So, please ignore all my previous complaints. Blogging sure is fun – until tomorrow, when I will have to do this all again.
PS: Note to my mom: Please pick up the phone. I know you are screening your calls.