I want to talk about something today, but this is very embarrassing, so I will have to whisper it to you. You see, it finally happened – a blogger’s worst nightmare – I went a whole day without getting a single new follower.
I cringe and turn away.
Up until now, this ride through the blogosphere had been a joy ride, filled with positive feedback, comments and good vibes. I had been blogging for almost two weeks – an eternity, I know – and had gotten two or three followers each and every day until now. But this – oh no – it’s almost too much to bear, a nightmare come to fruition.
I hide my eyes from your stares.
Awash in the utter humiliation of public rejection on the largest scale of all – that of the entire planet – I look inward, questioning myself about what I have done wrong:
“Am I writing about the wrong stuff?”
“Are my words weak and uninspiring?”
“Am I just plan boring?”
I hang my head in shame.
I think of ways to make changes, to get better, to have more readers. And then it dawns upon me: my life has become a metaphor for how most of us live our lives. We do this every single day. Instead of being true to ourselves, we look to change to fit the needs of others, simply to become popular – one of the crowd. Instead of glorifying our beautiful uniqueness, we water it down and blend in, just because we are afraid to be different or to be rejected.
So, my mind is made up – followers or no followers – I will stick to being myself, as boring as that may be. I will return to the party in my head now. You may join me if you like.
I feel much better now.
PS: To those of you who don’t know me well, this was meant to be funny. It really didn’t bother me…well, not that much…okay it did…what can I say?
Party time!
Stepping Out with an Agoraphobic 