I have a confession to make. I am a Frito-holic. Whew! It feels good to finally get that off my chest.
Yes, I admit it, I LOVE those crunchy, little waves of corn. I NEVER get enough of them. Laugh if you must. I don’t care who knows it. Shout it to the world – I LOVE FRITOS!
Just in case you are interested, I will tell you the back story to this tale of utter corn chip adoration. And just in case you want to do some research of your own: HERE’S A HANDY LINK.
It all began back in the days of my boyhood – just like it seems everything began back then. My mother used to pack my lunch every day for school. Alongside my sandwich, she would toss a mini bag of Fritos into my lunch bag. I was the envy of my peers. Friends would ask me for a savory chip, and I would oblige. Big kids would offer me protection from bullies. Of course I agreed. Girls, well they just had to smile, and before you knew it, I was chip-less.
This love affair with the fried corn delight grew over the years, until – not only did it consume my waking hours – it began haunting my dreams. I dreamt of playing for my favorite baseball team and hitting a home run in the bottom of the ninth inning to win the World Series. I would be voted MVP and win a golden cup filled with Fritos. I would get a phone call from the Frito-Lay Company to become their spokesperson. My pay: all the Fritos I could eat. It was heaven.
I had other dreams, too. My favorite was the one where the Fritos truck was driving right in front of our car, and the door flies open, causing all the bags to load directly into our car. I sometimes wished I could be the man driving the Fritos truck. That would be my dream job come true!
But my Fritos dreams started to change right about the time I turned thirteen, when quite unexpectedly, girls entered the picture. Now my nighttime visions included girls walking toward me in slow motion, all with huge bags of Fritos in their arms. They would teasingly tear the bags open and cover me with the chips. At least I think that’s what those dreams were about.
During my adolescence, I almost strayed from my beloved chip. And for the sake of honesty, I will admit that I sampled another chip or two. How could I not? A boy gets curious, especially when there is a new chip in town, a competitor: Frito Scoops.
Brazen in both size and attitude – the new chip decided to sit right next to my first love, right there on the shelf. It would taunt me as I walked by, tempting me to sample. And I did. But as luck would have it, I did not like the new chip in town. It did not taste right to me. I later discovered that, due to its larger size, the ratio of corn to oil was different. Embarrassed for straying, I returned to my first love, and have remained true to this very day.
Friends and family have know about my love for years. I get Fritos as Christmas and birthday presents. I get them from people who want to do nice things for me. Life is good – but now it gets better, because now the world knows!
And, just in case you were wondering if I was the only one to feel this way – I’m not. each and every January 29th, we celebrate “National Corn Chip Day” in the United States. Be sure to mark you calendars and buy a bag for your sweetheart!
Boy, do I love these people…