Sure, I have been lucky enough to have people follow me, and a few even make comments. The experience has been wonderful, to say the least. But for some strange reason, no one wants to click that innocent button – just on the left over there – and “like” me on Facebook. The rejection is haunting me. The utter humiliation of it all: I have 0 (ZERO!) Facebook friends. Null. Nada. None.
I began to think about this. That is when trouble set in. Thinking gets me in trouble – almost as much trouble as not thinking. It’s a slippery slope and I have shoes without treads.
I started checking out other blogs and looking at the number of Facebook friends everyone has. A lady who posts recipes all containing cabbage has 721. A mother who posts cute pictures of her kids has 2,456. And a guy who writes about his dog’s bowel movements has 11,369. Clearly I am doing something wrong.
Or maybe it’s even worse than that…
Maybe I am doing something right, but it’s so embarrassing that people don’t want to admit to anyone that they read it. Yeah, I’ll go with that explanation. It sounds a whole lot better.
Whatever the case may be: the poor writing, the embarrassing topics, or just the humiliation of being connected with me, I thought I would give this phenomena a name. Being the Pariah of WordPress gives me the right to attach a name to it. I didn’t want to give it my name. After all, who wants to be associated with a disease? I could never figure that one out. So, in my infinite wisdom I have called it “Facebook Cooties.”
Soon this will appear in dictionaries. Facebook Cooties: (noun) The blogger’s syndrome that occurs when none of your followers “like” you on Facebook. It usually occurs in the incompetent, insecure or ego-driven. There is no known cure besides getting people to click your button.
Well, that just about sums up my life. There’s really nothing much I can do about it. It’s all up to you: either you click that button or you don’t. In the meantime, I am going to go take a shower, just in case the phenomenon has been caused by something else. Enough said.
Saying for the day: Make sure to always smile. It will confuse people.