It was just a matter of time. I knew this day was coming. I have pushed it to the limit, and now I am paying the price: my sense of humor is gone.
I’m not sure when it happened. Maybe it was sometime in between Christmas and New Year’s Eve when everyone sings that song about forgetting all your troubles. Yeah, I bet that was it. I bet it was that song. Good. Now I have something to blame. But I don’t know where I lost it. I have looked everywhere – no luck. And even trying to find it is sheer lunacy because, after all, what does a sense of humor look like? A banana peel? A pie? A mirror? (That’s too deep. I am getting a headache).
I don’t know how I lost it. I suppose it could have been stolen; but that would mean that somebody else is all-of-a-sudden funny, and I haven’t noticed any funny people around here lately. Maybe I just misplaced it for a while. Maybe it got tossed away with all the holiday trash because I didn’t take enough time out to enjoy the holiday as much as I should have. Maybe I wasn’t paying enough attention to life, so now this happens.
Oh, this is severe alright. It’s gone. I know this to be true because everybody notices a person who tries to be funny and can’t. That’s why the professionals call it “bombing.” Bombs are never subtle.
There I was talking to a friend and I said a witty line: nothing. No laugh. No reaction. I tried to let it roll off my back, but I couldn’t. This is me. This is who I am. Everybody says it: “You’re so funny,” “You have such a unique sense of humor,” “You owe me twenty bucks and I want it by Tuesday.” (See, I told you I’m not funny anymore).
What Does this Mean?
I suppose I will have to be serious all the time now. No more play on words, one-liners, or knock-knock jokes. I suppose this means that I will lose all my friends now and have to start over, because everyone expects you to be funny all the time and they notice it if you’re not.
I suppose it could be worse. At least my family is sticking by me – for now – although I keep getting asked “Are you okay?” a lot. It’s embarrassing. Maybe I will have to fake a temporary brain tumor in the comedy part of the brain until this blows over.
I have a favor to ask of you. If you do see my sense of humor, please send it to me as soon as possible. It’s am emergency: I am staring down the barrel of a seltzer bottle. That’s how desperate I am.