Sometimes I feel that there is pressure associated with blogging – if you intend to do a good job.  Questions such as: what do I write today, do I really have a voice or a message, and how do I keep people interested always crop up.  Today’s entry was easy to find. It is about struggle and not always succeeding.


From time to time, I talk about agoraphobia and other fears that I battle on a daily basis.  I try to accompany that with tips on how to cope with them.  I like to use a sense of humor, almost like a weapon, to combat everyday tribulations. Self-talk and meditation work to reduce stress.  And sometimes, just plain old determination will get you through the day.

But that’s just it – sometimes I wonder if people think this is easy for me now, if I triumph every day.  Well, guess what?  Today was one of those days where I did not succeed; and to be true to myself, it should be written about.


Spring is finally here and that brings with it a whole new set of stress-inducers: I cannot hide behind the snow or the bad weather, I cannot hide behind a thick layer of clothing to shield me from the world, and I must go out of the house. I need to step out of the comfort of winter’s cocoon, and get back into the world.

Today was supposed to be the day when I started my walking routine again.  I need the exercise, and the weather is finally good. I had every intention of doing this first thing in the morning, but it just didn’t work out.  I launched into a full-blown panic attack and could not leave the house.  I had failed – or had I?


It dawned upon me that we cannot fail today.  That is not how it works. Sure, we can mess things up, and our plans can blow up in our faces; but that is not how we measure failure and success.  It is not marked by the event; it is marked by what comes next.

We cannot fail today – we can only fail tomorrow.

If we decide to give up and never try again, THAT is the failure.  If our attitude turns negative and we do not try to shift it, THAT is the failure. The outcome is always ahead of us, and the choice is always ours.

What Next?

Yes, it is true.  I did not muster up what it takes to leave the house today.  I did not meet my goal. But I did get my exercise indoors, and I will try again to start my walking regimen.  I am not planning to fail.  I am planning to succeed. Let’s see what happens next.

Hang in there, everyone.  You are not alone.

About Joe

Freelance designer and writer whose goal is to help others by writing about my experiences with fear and anxiety (agoraphobia), health struggles (cancer) and my wonderfully-happy life as a husband and stay-at-home dad. I want to empower everyone to have a happy life.

6 responses »

  1. Colleen says:

    I know the feeling — today it took me 4 hours to upload a few photos. Although I’ve been doing it for almost a year, today my blog would not accept them. I tried and re-tried numerous things including turning my computer on and off, re-resizing them, … I too had written about success today and that it is what we do with the obstacles that define us. I’m glad to see you’re having a successful day too. You ‘ll have to go to my post (day 111) to find out if I actually got the pictures posted. 😀

  2. Reblogged this on sondasmcschatter and commented:

  3. mcsgal says:

    If you learned something, you have not failed. I try to remember that when I have spent a lot of time and/or energy trying to do something. Beating myself up for something that did not happen, doesn’t help me. Remembering what I learned in the process does help me.

  4. Maggie/Tumbleweed says:

    How appropriate ….your topic. I started out great leaving the RV park for my final leg of the journey in my RV back to New York. Everything was going great. Out of the park on time, stopping at the grocery (Kroger) and restocking for me and my pets, getting lunch for them and me in the parking lot and then moving on over to the gas pump to fill up the tank. No problem with the pump, I even got .10 off each gallon of gas with my grocery credits. BUT THEN when I was ready to leave the gas station… The RV would not start. Of course there is no mechanic at the gas stations these days. (Not like when I was much younger.) After calling and waiting through the Road Side Service routines….and getting all the dirty looks from people who wanted gas.(My RV takes up two slots/tank spaces.) I finally got a nice young man…who confirmed what I knew that the battery was not the problem. (the road side services covers charging the battery or the alternative of towing.) Luckily, the young mechanic found the problem was the starter………and I was able to “hire” him as a mobile mechanic to find the part and replace it.

    By the time everything was completed……diagnosis, finding and replacing the part……and all the forms that had to be signed…………it was getting dark. I found my way to a road side rest area a couple of miles up the road. So here I sit with the truckers…still in Ohio and not in West Virginia where I hoped to be tonight. But I find success in having a problem that can easily be identified and meeting such a nice young man who helps to break down what we old folks find ourselves saying: “Young people don’t like to works these days.” I love being proved wrong.
    Thanks for the topic, Joe…..

  5. Sarah says:

    Good luck for your next attempt Joe. I hope the weather stays nice for you. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s