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How Low Can You Stoop?

We are lied to all of our lives: “This won’t hurt,” “No means yes,” “They don’t mean that when they say those mean things to you,” “Of course those spandex pants look good on you.” The list is infinite. Good thing I was distracted by those Fritos or I would be here all day compiling one.

Manipulation

The words we encounter often come our way with one goal in mind: to manipulate us. For example:

“The new 2014 (insert car name here) received the highest rating at the recent Lion’s Club Picnic and was voted ‘Car of the Year’ by the homeless guy who lives in back of WalMart.”

The picture on the television is of a car jumping over a train and jetting off into space; and the disclaimer says:

“This is not real.  Cars cannot fly into space.  Do not try this at home.”

Math

Or what about when “they” add math to the mixture.  Fancy statistics can go a long way to bend the truth when properly manipulated:

“Four out of five doctors recommend (insert toothpaste name here) as part of a regular regimen of decay prevention.”

What they don’t tell you is the question the doctors were asked:

“Which is better, brushing your teeth with this toothpaste or letting them rot in your mouth?”

What bothers me is that one guy who voted to let them rot.

What’s the Point?

I am so glad you asked.  Now I have something to write about.

My theme today is not just about lies versus the truth, or how people are always trying to manipulate us.  It is an extrapolation of those concepts, and an application of them to blogging.

What is the goal of our blog? Most people would agree that we blog in the attempt to write something meaningful and have as many people read it as possible. (Okay, that eliminates me because I used the word “meaningful”.) Another reason we blog is because of our hopes: we hope to meet people, make friends and exchange exciting ideas.  This of course, is very idealistic – but what’s wrong with being idealistic?  Nothing.

You’re Stalling.  Come On, Get to the REAL Point!

Okay, Okay.  Boy, some people don’t have patience, do they?

My goal for today was to skirt around the topic, do a little pas de deux between truth and mistruth, and end with a flurry of a flip onto a revelation.  But, since I have two left feet, I have simply clogged my way to this inevitable climax: my devious trick.

I wondered what it would take to attract the most new readers to a blog.  And then, in a flash, the light bulb when off over my head: why not write about the topics that are trending?  These are the ones most searched on the Internet. This is exactly what a clever marketing executive would do. I picked a title with all the hot topics, one that would entice and attract. I had become an evil genius!

Crash and Burn

Of course we all know, evil geniuses never triumph.  Therefore I will be doomed to failure and mockery for the remainder of my blogging days.  Does anyone know if they have a delete button around here?

SMILE!

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About Joe

Freelance designer and writer whose goal is to help others by writing about my experiences with fear and anxiety (agoraphobia), health struggles (cancer) and my wonderfully-happy life as a husband and stay-at-home dad. I want to empower everyone to have a happy life.

6 responses »

  1. Colleen says:

    I think it would be more fun to start the trends rather than go along with everyone else. But since I’ve never succeeded in starting a trend maybe I should ask the 4 out 5 dentists what they think? 😀 Just curious, how many new bloggers would you like to attract?

  2. Colleen says:

    I don’t know how many bloggers you will attract today — but I have a life-time membership so you’re stuck with me. 😀

  3. Sarah says:

    I can’t imagine you losing any followers because of this post. People tend to like a guy with a sense of humour. 🙂

  4. MCS Gal says:

    I don’t know why but when I started reading your post I thought of the lie the paramedic told. When I was in the squad in pain, the paramedic told the hospital that I was “resting comfortably”. The paramedics laughed when I told them that I was NOT “resting comfortably”.

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