MayDay

The Harbinger of Doom!

Things happen for a reason.  There is a logic and order to the Universe. And so it is with words. Somebody way-back-when decided to use sense when it came to naming things.  Popcorn is called popcorn for a reason.  It makes sense.  The same goes for ice cream.  Doesn’t that make you feel good?  Yes, me, too.

And now for the bad news: not everything is named for something positive.  Case in point: May Day.  Mayday means panic, danger, look out, oh no! And today, May 1st is May Day, so that means it’s panic time.

Reasons

We don’t just panic for no good reason at all.  No, that would be too easy.  We must find reasons and logic to this uncomfortable state of mind.  Luckily for you, I have found it.  Why do we panic on May 1st?  Because spring is underway and we have fallen way behind in our yard work, because in mere weeks, the kids will be let out for summer and we don’t know how they will keep amused, and because beach season around the corner, and yikes, we need to lose weight fast!

May Day marks the day of change, transition, and uncertainty.  And of course, that brings with it the inevitable arguments.  But this is nothing new. May Day arguments have been taking place since the dawn of human:

May Day Skit

It is the era of the dinosaur, and we are eavesdropping on a cave family as they prepare to face another day – but this happens to be May 1st (I Googled it to be sure).

CHARACTERS:

OG – cave father,  BLOG – cave mother, OG, Jr. – cave son, Rochelle – cave daughter

“Bye, Mom.  Bye, Dad,” said Rochelle.

“Get back here, young lady!” said Og.  “Just where do you think you’re going?”

“To school, Dad,” she replied.

“Dressed like that?” Og asked. “I don’t think so.  Just look at you – your pelt is way too short – and on a cold day, too. Where did you get a crazy idea like this?  On the Internet?”

“Internet?  You mean the smoke signals?  No, Dad, all the other girls are wearing them like this.  It’s the new style.”

“And if they all decided to get their ears pierced, would you do that, too?”

“Well –“

“I thought so,” he said, “I’m keeping my eye on you.  Now go change.”

“Don’t you want me to be popular?” Rochelle pleaded.

“Of course not.  That’s the idea.  Go cover up – change!”

“Parents!” exclaimed Rochelle as she stormed off to her corner of the cave.

“Og, will you have a talk with your son?” asked Blog.

“Why?  What he did do now?” Og asked.

“Why do you think he did something?” she asked.

“Because whenever you say ‘your son,’ I know he’s in trouble,” he explained.

“He’s painting on the wall again,” Blog told him.

“Og rushed off to see what his son was up to.  He found him painting animals on his bedroom wall.

“And what are you doing, young man?” he demanded.

“Just painting, Pops,” said the boy.  “It’s fun.  Wanna try?”

“What? And lose my security deposit?  Are you crazy?”

“All you do is worry about money, Pops. Chill out a little.”

“Chill?  Is that what you kids are saying nowadays, Junior?  Is that why your sister is walking around half naked – she wants to get cold?”

“Of course not,” Junior said. “She’s hot for Clog, the boy next-cave.”

“Hot?  I thought she wanted to get cold.”

“No, Pops, that means she likes him.”

“Why, what’s so special about Clog?” Og asked.

“No uni-brow.  She thinks that’s cool.”

“Cool?  Hot?  Why isn’t anything ever the same temperature?”

“Cool it, Pops, you’re never gonna get it,” said Junior.

“And that’s another thing, young man.  I don’t like the way you talk to me.  It’s disrespectful.  We never talked to our parents like that in my day.”

“That’s because language wasn’t invented yet,” said the boy.

“Don’t get smart.  You want to be grounded?”

“Grounded.  Man,” complained Junior. “You just wait ‘til I get my car.  Then I’m out of here!”

“Car?  What’s a car?” asked his father.

“You see that thing, Pops?” he said, pointing to a device outside the cave.

“Yeah.  Looks like a tree limb if you ask me,” said Og.

“Well, you just wait ‘til I figure out a way to get it to go.  As soon as I can invent something that rolls, I am gone.”

“Fine, and while you’re at it, could you invent fire?  I am tired of eating cold pizza.”

“What’s pizza, Pop?”

“Never mind.”

I’m confused

So am I , but that never stopped me. I guess the point is: the more things change, the more they stay the same.  Happy May Day!

SMILE!

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About Joe

Freelance designer and writer whose goal is to help others by writing about my experiences with fear and anxiety (agoraphobia), health struggles (cancer) and my wonderfully-happy life as a husband and stay-at-home dad. I want to empower everyone to have a happy life.

One response »

  1. Maggie/Tumbleweed says:

    At my age, I find out about change after it’s already happened. Too late to panic.
    I enjoyed your trip into confusion…………..

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