Mentally Broke

The dollar doesn’t go as far as it used to unless you wad it up before you throw it. Then again, if you wrap it around a smooth rock, you may get better distance. I maintain, however, that we are only allotted a certain amount of “mental cents” over the course of our lives; so if we spend them all right away, we are left wandering the streets in our bathrobes in our latter years – like last week, in my case.

They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. I tried that when I was a kid, but it didn’t help me like school any better. I was never the “teacher’s pet.” That sort of thing can get you into trouble with Social Services or PETA. I preferred to hide in the cafeteria, just behind the trash can closest to the door. That way I could make a break for it when no one was looking. Luckily, my favorite shirt was the same color of the walls in the hallway, so it was easier to blend in and avoid the fists of bullies, which was my primary goal.

Benjamin Franklin once said that “Fish and visitors smell in three days.” Obviously he didn’t shop at the same stores I do, or he would have amended that statement and increase the size of the list.

A friend of mine once asked me what drugs I was on. I told her I was high on life, and she moved her chair farther away from me. The truth can distance people from one another. Then again, if you get too close, you can learn things that you’d rather not know.

Umbrellas are very sad. People shove them places where they’d rather not be, and only take them out in bad weather, unless of course you are talking about beach umbrellas, which never seem to stay put. I think they get too hot and try to run away or try to take a dip in the cool water. That is also very sad. The word “parasol” is from the French, and it means “against the sun.” It is any wonder they, too, are cranky?

I studied French in high school for four years. Not once did they ever serve toast in class. I was disappointed. The only thing that held my attention was the teacher. She gave it back to me after class. I think the phrase “Ooh, la la” was written about her. I still think of her today, especially when I am making toast.

Sometimes people come up to me and say “You’re not making sense.” To that I simply say, “Have you ever listened to anyone in politics? Get back to me after you do, and I will gladly accept your apology.”

I wonder what the first museum was like, when the Earth was brand new. Did the cave people set aside a special display area and say things like “Wow! Look at that – a rock from last week!” Rocks never need to be repaired. They simply change size and shape and move around from place to place when you touch them. The same can be said for people, but some of them do need repair.

I think the best thing anyone can do with their spare time is to give it to others. Better yet, give them some of your valuable time and show them how much you care.

Congratulations! If you made it this far, you have a lot of patience. I am glad you are my friend, though by now you may be questioning that quite a bit.


About Joe

Freelance designer and writer whose goal is to help others by writing about my experiences with fear and anxiety (agoraphobia), health struggles (cancer) and my wonderfully-happy life as a husband and stay-at-home dad. I want to empower everyone to have a happy life.

One response »

  1. Maggie/Tumbleweed says:

    Keep going…..I enjoy what you have to say………..BUT don’t sit too close.

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