There’s No Turning Back
Today is the scariest day of my life. I will admit that it’s not as scary as the day I found out I had cancer because there was a chance I was going to die. But in some other ways – ways that you who know me will understand – this day has that beat.
With my cancer, I could stay private. I could fight the disease on my terms and keep to myself if I wanted to. This helps a lot when you are a shy person because you get bombarded with questions. If you are lucky like me, you can have someone fend off all those questions, taking the pressure off you so that you can focus on the task of healing.
But today, I can no longer remain in relative privacy. This is the day I have revealed myself to the world. This is the day that my book has come out.
The Gory Details
For those of you who don’t know the back story to this event, I will explain it now: nine years ago, my father became ill and had to have heart bypass surgery. My parents asked me to go stay with them and help out until he was back on his feet. This meant that I had to travel to see him, and while I was there I had to shoulder great responsibility. It was a tense time for everyone.
Those who know me (a.k.a “Mr. Anxiety”) will understand how tough doing that was. One way I coped with the pressure was to keep a journal. That journal has now become a novel.
Have no fear, though, the book is not all serious. It’s probably about 50-50. It has to be. This is who I am. I use humor to help cope, and the book must reflect this. It is also honest, and that’s what scares me today.
My biggest fear is that my family will read this and get upset – and I don’t want to hurt anyone. Still, what point would there be to write something and to hold back the truth? That wouldn’t do anyone any good. So I will say a little prayer that my family understands that I had to write this book.
I am also not thrilled at the fact that it is now my responsibility to promote the book or else no one will read it. I am not focused on selling a lot of copies, or becoming famous – that scares me even more. But I would just like people to read it if they wanted to, so here in the link to it, just in case: The Book.
I am not going to say much more about this. This was a dream of mine: one of those things that is high up there on a bucket list. And now it is done. It will become what it is supposed to become. I have faith in that.
Thank you for reading this and for indulging a man who still dreams.