TIME TO WRITE
We all know why we are here: to share ideas. But how can you share ideas when you don’t have any? That’s easy; I do it all the time. I think most people do. That is why the Internet is a big hit. When you post something online, it doesn’t need to have any purpose at all: thus, this blog!
I have been getting all set to write this week, so that means one of two things. I can either sharpen my mind in order to come up with clever and insightful blog entries, or I can dull it into a blithering mass of grey matter. Either one of those things works well, and I hate to tell you which one works better — but I think by now you can guess.
Before I write, I like to do a little metal exercising to get ready. This is because I hate brain cramps which plague me like yesterday’s burrito. I prefer quizzes because they force me to dig deep, find facts and challenge me. If you are not a “quiz person,” you can achieve the same goal by standing in the middle of a crowded street and trying to remember all the license plate numbers of the cars that pass by. (Please remember to bring enough money for bail, as jail is a distinct possibility).
So, here for your reading pleasure is my latest warm-up quiz. See how many you can answer before time runs out.
GENERAL KNOWLEDGE QUIZ:
1. The War of 1812 was fought in ______?
a. New Jersey b. An apartment in the Bronx c. Tight pants d. A hurry
2. Who invented popcorn?
a. Orville Reddenbacher b. Molly McButter c. Native Americans d. Grandpopcorn
3. Fill in the blank: “Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man ______.
a. wish he had a surprise b. healthy, wealthy and wise c. prone to war a disguise d. boring
4. If you eat two bananas every day for a year, what do you get?
a. Healthy b. Monkeys following you around c. Jaundice d. Peelarrhea
5. Mathematics: The square root of 225 is _____.
a. An inverse parallelogram with 6 sides b. 15 c. found at http://www.squareroot.com d. Chocolate cream pi
a. Because. b. Why Not? c. Beats me. d. Fritos.
7. Science: The lightest element in the Periodic Table is _____.
a. The sun b. The moon c. Argon d. Oak
8. How long does it take to drive 1 hour at 50 miles per hour?
a. 2 days b. 60 minutes plus another 15 for a stop at McDonald’s c. 300 d. Spock
9. The opposite of good is _____.
a. Barium b. Lonely c. Pistachio d. Empty
10. HOUR is to GLASS as CARAMEL is to _____.
a. Soup b. Shoes c. Caramel d. Lincoln Logs
HOW TO SCORE:
10 points for every correct answer; 15 points for every incorrect answer; 20 points if you wrote down your answers; 25 points if you actually timed yourself; 50 point bonus if you send me Fritos. If your score is a negative number, then multiply by -5 and add 10 to that. If you are actually trying to calculate a score, congratulations; you are mentally ill and should be writing your own blog. If you made it to this point, seek help immediately.