A Slip of the…Brain

Everyone knows that words don’t lie.  Wait – that was a lie; so I guess they do.

In this modern era, where First Amendment rights apparently do not apply to anyone who is not politically correct, causing everyone’s job to be in jeopardy if you disagree with the common view or simply feel like being a jerk.  Wait – that was way too political: RETRACTION!  RETRACTION!

Start Again

In this modern era of tweets and twerks, selfies and narcissistic nonsense, it is good to know that everything that is ever published online is absolutely true – or is it?  Luckily for you I have uncovered 10 famous quotes that, over the years, have been either misquoted or attributed to the wrong person.

(Please note that I did not say these things, so please don’t send the police to my house.)

10 Famous “Misquotes”:

1. “Today, I consider myself the lumpiest man on the face of the Earth.” – Lou Gehrig referring to his weight gain prior to spring training of 1931

2. “Don’t fire until you see the whites of their eggs.” – Chef Gordon Ramsay, Hell’s Kitchen, right before he set fire to a contestant

3. “Frankly, my dear, I don’t have a stamp,” Rhett Butler’s mailman, Gone with the Wind, annoyed because everyone was complaining about how slow mail delivery had been since the burning of Atlanta, the central hub of the postal system in the south

4. “The only thing we have to fear is beer itself.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt from an address warning Prohibition-era Americans to beware of tainted alcohol

5. “Hey, you, get off of my cloud,” – God

6. “Say hello to my little friend,” – Jim Henson circa 1962, upon introducing Kermit the Frog to the world on The Ed Sullivan Show

7. “One fish, two fish, red fish, I’ll have the grilled salmon,” – Dr. Seuss at the Cheesecake Factory

8. “Make him a pizza he can’t refuse.” Marlon Brando, The Godfather

9. “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would still make me sneeze.” – William Shakespeare (written during allergy season)

10. “Excuse me while I kiss this guy.” – Jimi Hendrix referring to his status with the draft board

There you have it.  I think I got it right, but don’t quote me on that.


About Joe

Freelance designer and writer whose goal is to help others by writing about my experiences with fear and anxiety (agoraphobia), health struggles (cancer) and my wonderfully-happy life as a husband and stay-at-home dad. I want to empower everyone to have a happy life.

One response »

  1. freekin’ awesome… In have heard that the quote about nice guys finishing last was a misquote. He really just said, “Nice guys, finished last.” It was just an observation, not a particularly deep thought at all.

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